Time for some new traditions

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By Angye Morrison

Every now and again, I stare at the computer screen while it mocks me. And believe it or not, I don’t have a thing to say. But it’s OK...sooner or later, something comes to me and I have no trouble hammering out a column.

As I thought about what to write for this week, I realized that the holiday season is here...October is almost gone, and with the passing of Halloween, the holidays will officially begin. And it’s all downhill from there.

I was doing some reading on that very subject when I ran across the following at www.funnytimes.com. I liked the suggestions so much, I decided to share them with you. I laughed out loud at them...and I hope you enjoy them just as much.

The holiday season is upon us, but they're the same old holidays we've always been stuck with. Turkey and football. Tinsel and standing in line for an hour to see a fat, sweaty temp worker dressed in a red flannel suit. Noisemakers, champagne and the year's first hangover. Isn't it about time to add some new celebrations to our repertoire? Here are a few ideas:

National Nap Day (First Monday in February). A holiday inspired by overly-fond memories of elementary school. At 2 p.m. everybody stops working and takes a nap. If you're in your car you can simply pull over and lean the seat all the way back. At work, bring your sleeping bag and teddy bear and spread out on the floor next to the copy machine, instead of dozing off at your computer like you normally do. Radio stations are required to play lullaby music for 30 minutes. After nap time everyone can have a snack of juice and crackers before resuming their regular routine.

National Yard Sale Weekend (First weekend in June). We all have plans for a yard sale sometime in the near future, but most of us never get around to doing much more than gathering together an enormous pile of junk we never quite know how to get rid of. On National Yard Sale Weekend, everybody can stick all their mismatched jelly glasses, ceramic penguins and 478-piece jigsaw puzzles outside for the neighbors to pick over. Even numbered addresses sell on Saturday, odd numbers on Sunday. Plenty of buyers, plenty of sellers, plenty of crap.

I have a few suggestions as well, but you get the idea. Hope you liked the belly laughs. We all need at least two a day. So declare your own holiday today...and laugh your way through it.

You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/missangye. E-mail your comments and suggestions to me at editor@gadcotimes.com.