My overgrown lawn, 'tis of thee...

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By Angye Morrison

As I drive down the street where I live in Havana each day, it’s easy to tell which neighbors have better things to do than mow their lawns.

Some folks mow their lawns religiously. I haven’t seen them do it, but I suspect they use a ruler to make sure the grass the perfect height. I’d even be willing to bet some of them use a level to make sure it’s all even.

Some of my neighbors cut the grass when they figure it needs it. I’m not sure exactly when that is. It might be somewhere around Honey-get-outside-and-mow-the-lawn o’clock. But even they do it with some regularity.

Then I have some neighbors that are obviously in the witness protection program, and are fearful that if they are seen mowing their lawns, the feds – or the mafia – will bust them. Maybe they’re allergic to grass. Maybe they don’t like to sweat. Whatever the reason, they have taken the wait-and-see approach...let’s wait and see if it dies and then we won’t have to cut it.

Me? I got myself a lawn guy. I don’t do grass.

For all you men (and women) who have the ominous task of mowing your lawns, whenever you choose to do it, I found the “Mower’s National Anthem.” Enjoy.

At least until it’s time to crank up the John Deere again.

My lawnmower tis of thee,

Sweet tool of misery,

Of thee I sing.

Lawn where my father died!

He should have stayed inside!

Protect me from his foolish pride,

Let freedom ring!

My grassy backyard, thee,

Lawn of the never free,

I see you grow.

I hate thy rocks and rills,

I hate to mow up hills;

My heart with loathing fills

I cut too low.

Let mowing swell the breeze,

Watch out for flowers and trees,

The lawnmower hums.

Let nature now awake;

I’ve had all I can take;

I’m ready for a break.

My life prolong.

This lawn is work to me,

I need my liberty,

To clear my head,

Long may my work be light;

I tried with all my might;

My Saturdays will now be quiet,

The lawn is dead!

You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/missangye. E-mail your comments and suggestions to me at editor@gadcotimes.com.